Motivation?

It's an easy word to type but that's where it ends.

It's not easy to be motivated is it? There are so many things I'm failing at right now.

Among many are... study, exercise, drinking loads of water, craftiness, healthy eating, dates with friends. Not to mention this damn blog.

The only one I'm succeeding at so far is the water drinking.

 And I'm not sure if that even counts as I'm doing it in my sleep. I go to bed with 1.2L of water. Wake up to none. If i don't remember it happening should I still get the credit?

We either have a thirsty ghost or I'm subconsciously achieving something.

Obviously I like to believe the latter.

Finding this motivational drive is >insert annoying voice here< haaaard.

Where do you find this so called motivation? It's always so brief lately.

A few days ago I have a short but exciting moment of inspiration. Gardening! Or more accurately the idea of gardening. My brain spiralled out of control after a friend posted this link.

http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/gardening-without-a-garden-10-ideas-for-your-patio-or-balcony-renters-solutions-167221

I felt energised, excited, focused and a whole lot of other words I really liked.

But that's as far as my gardening journey went.

But I hope someone else is inspired by this link to create such a

beautiful green space in their own home.

As for me I have my fingers tightly crossed that this so called 'motivation' comes right up and punches me square in the face very soon.

Loss and new life

So far this year I have lost a brother and gained a nephew.

 All in the space of 2 days.

 I don't want this to be a depressing entry so I'll keep it kinda short.

My brother and I have a lot in common. A LOT. Despite an almost 10 year age gap we were very much alike. From our temperament to simply just our taste in music and movies. When he first broke the news of his cancer, it was through tears he told me that he had a feeling I would be the hardest of our siblings to tell.

I have never lost a family member before and I can't describe the feeling.

My brother Jason endured a short but brave fight against a very aggressive cancer and sadly he lost the battle.

The very next day his wife gave birth to Jack, their first born.

A widow one day, a mother the next.

I will always miss Jason and I am so grateful that he has lived on in my nephew Jack.

Jack is such a beautiful little boy and he looks so much like his daddy. See for yourself.

The above image is my 19 year old mother with her first born son Jason.

My baby nephew Jack.

There has always been a running joke from family and friends that I am fairly limited in regards to feelings and emotions. Dealing with them, expressing them, hell even having them. I suppose it was for this reason that perhaps I was given the job of putting together the photo slide show and the 'order of service' booklet for Jason's funeral.

 Lucky for me my very supportive partner was there in her shining armour to take the reigns and make sure we had them both done in time. After being told for so long that I was an emotionally retardent robot, it was with great shock and disdain to discover that I am all but not. The last few weeks have brought scary bursts of anger and frustration, unexplained tantrums, spaced out confusion and many, many, many tears.

 Robot?

 I think not.



It appears this post is late

I swear it was new years day just yesterday. Every year I am becoming just a little bit more frightened at the speed that time insists on moving at. Is it really March already? It is? Okay then, I guess that only makes me 3 months behind on my blogging goal for this year. Please forgive my tardiness.

Chances are this blog may very well be brain numbing for anyone other than myself. We may have zero in common, let's find out. In no particular order, here are a few of my favourite things:

Wine, sewing, willy wag tails,
science, genuinely smelling books like a creep, gigantic trees,
Edith Piaf, cold beer, history, writing lists,
buttons, fresh crisp sheets, knowledge, rain,
relaying frustrating work days while cooking dinner with my partner,
collections, taking a decent photograph, whales,
history, visually aesthetic food, sisterly bonds, colour,
forming bonds with a rock/stick that I've been holding during a long conversation with someone,
Marlene Dietrich, cyclonic winds, being spooned, owls,
the sound of walking in heels on hardwood flooring,
the smugness of achieving something on your own, compliments (giving & receiving),
those light bulb moments, daydreams, cute craft projects,
hearing someones genuine laugh for the first time,
being in love.

If any of those ring a bell then who knows, fingers crossed someone might actually enjoy my posts.

I had a birthday earlier this year. Now I'm 28 years old, nothing much has changed. But I did get some extremely cute gifts! Hurrah! One of them was this adorable button ring.

 I fell in love with it so much I decided to try and make some. So after a trip to Spotlight I scrambled through my front door loaded up with all kinds of crafty thing to imerse myself in. But first on my list was those rings. Nothing to it. A few lovely buttons, some glue and the ring bases. And hey, presto!