Let me first start by saying I love my dog.
But I sometimes find myself asking the question... Is she retarded?
If you aren't an animal lover then this post won't be for you as it will be loaded with puppy photos, stories and many other things that pet owners generally think will be interesting but often aren't. To kick it off here is a photo of the dog in question, Yoshi.
I know. Fucking adorable right? She really is.
She is also (to mention a few) hilarious, goofy, licky, endlessly hungry and fist squeezingly cute.
BUT. Kinda very stupid.
Now I feel I must mention here that I am a first time dog owner.
Which brings me to my next question.
Is it me? Is it my fault? Have I done something wrong here?
Yoshi is about 8 months old now and still hasn't started obedience training.
Whoops. I kinda just thought that Labradors were born to lead the blind...turns out not so much.
They need a lot of attention and play time or they get very bored.
Bored enough in fact to start chewing and swallowing things. Like pegs, bottle caps, squeakers.
Most just come out all warped and colourful in her poop.
But some don't.
Batteries for example.
They are just as easy to swallow apparently but a tad more dangerous to have floating around in her tummy.
Do you think this deterred our special little lady?
Of course not.
After paying a small fortune to have this foreign body removed via endoscopic procedure,
purely to save her the pain and frustration of being cut open, (and then having to endure the cone of shame) she came out of it being non the wiser.
Nor smarter.
In fact the morning after Yoshi was picked up
from the specialist I spent the best part of my morning chasing her around the yard trying to coax a butter knife out her her jaw. Like..a knife.
But then she smiles or does something equally ridiculous in the cuteness stakes to make up for her naughtiness and I forgive her almost immediately.
It's medically proven you know (I may or may not be making this up) that a dog can improve your life span and overall health. I have to say that I believe it whole heartedly.
As I mentioned in a previous blog, one of my favourite things is cooking dinner with my partner but it has only been enhanced by having our little hoover puppy at our feet willing to eat anything and everything we give her. I think the kitchen is one of the rooms in the house that she loves the most.
Sometimes she thinks she is being sneaky...
But the flour on her nose gives her away every time.
A confession.
I was never known to be a dog person.
I kinda went by the rule that lesbians were cat people and that was that.
But it was just a fear of the unknown. Don't get me wrong I still adore cats but I now have a genuine appreciation and love for dogs and I can honestly say that I love my little Yoshi no matter what her IQ. In fact I sometimes think she is more intelligent than she lets on.
But then I look at her.
No matter what I couldn't live without her though.
Because no matter what kind of negative day I've had, no matter how much life has shat on me, how much I feel like breaking down, punching a wall or hiding my head under a pillow. I know when I turn the key in my front door Yoshi is going to be thrilled to see me no matter what her day has been like. She will grab her nearest toy and circle me around and around until I've forgotten what it was that was bothering me.
And that my people is love.
So yes she may be stupid. She may be mildly retarded. I think she may just need obedience training.
But most of all I think she just needs attention.
If she manages to always make me feel better then I think I should be able to give her all the attention she deserves. After all I think she looks up to me ;-P
Let me finish by saying I love my dog.
