Change is good right?

A quote to start.

"You'll never do a whole lot

unless you're brave enough to try"

-Dolly Parton

Gee wizz Dolly. You nailed my thoughts exactly.

I have decided to be brave

(which may actually end up being a stupid idea)

by deciding to juggle a full time career and university life.

But I say why the fuck not.

The worst that can happen is that I fail miserably and just go back to working full time.

The best scenario is that one day in the very far, far future I graduate

 and find myself some actual level of confidence.

I need this confidence.

Particularly in my work environment.

I was recently in a 'senior technician' position to relieve a colleague who was on annual leave.

At the end, some feedback I received from my team included:

• stop being so hard on myself
• stop doubting myself
• stop questioning my decisions

How do I stop doing all those things?

Quite often I actually feel like a fraud in my workplace.

It's part of my personality.

For as long as I can remember I have always been quiet,

lacking in confidence and rather reserved around people to an extent.

I don't like it.

I have decided to try and change things.

I have the complete support from Candice and many other of my lovelies.

It's both exciting and terrifying.

Right now it's making my stomach hurt.

Chemistry, physics and maths.

My life for the next 6 years.

Work, study, work, study, work again.

I actually feel like I'm in the process of talking myself out of university right now.

The thing is though, I would have to be stupid not to give this a shot.

My employer has offered to pay for my entire uni degree.

This is a lot of money.

I pay upfront for each course and then provided I pass,

a large amount of money is deposited into my bank account each semester.

Like I said, I would have to be stupid.

I still have the next six months to enjoy having an actual social life

since the course I am hoping for doesn't start until early March next year.

I plan on using that time well.

The next 6 months will include such pleasures-

disgustingly late sleep ins, gallons of beer, late nights out, bad tv, hours of YouTube and Wimp.com, useless daydreams, excessive wine abuse and unappreciated moments of relaxation.

Wish me luck.